too much work and feeling gray

It's seemed like a long couple of days; I haven't been getting enough sleep, which is entirely my fault, and wonderful, because I'm spending more time with a person I enjoy.

To continue to update: I worked at Starbucks a lot this last week. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle it. It's so dramatic and energetically oppressive there. I hope something new comes up and I: find a great work environment, make more money, and am comfortable.

Today I felt gray. The idea of gray came from my friend Chad, talking about things being black and gray and the sky and it's been snowing here for the last 36 hours (it feels like). The snow is not piling up or anything, and it was charming at first, but it's just so....cold and wet and I want to have to wear my sunglasses. I felt gray; that was the point of the last couple of sentences. I feel better now. I figured out that Starbucks is wearing on me, no matter how I try to stay out of the drama and craziness going on there, I suppose it's affecting me anyway. I'm also sad I didn't get to go to my dad's side Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. I was maybe going to get off work early so I could go, but it didn't end up working out that way. I did end up going to Blue Koi and Tootsies with Gregg (my friend) and we had a great time. FYI: warm saki tastes like gasoline; I wouldn't suggest it.

I had the morning off today. I went to Phoenix Herb Company and picked up some more Market Spice (favorite tea!), and some other health teas, and went by Whole Foods, and I got some more of my protein powder and tofu, and we perused the shampoo aisle and smelled lots of them. We came back and made lunch together (steak and garlic bread and we had some wine) and we tried to watch Maltese Falcon but fell asleep and had an impromtu nap. I didn't feel well at all when I woke up so I didn't work this evening for PKD. I'm so glad I had a whole day off; I felt like I wasn't myself part of the day today. But I took a hot bath, finished my audiobook (The Time Traveler's Wife - seriously fantastic and tragic and wonderful), drank some hot tea, made myself soup, started making some more things for Christmas, as well as worked on some other things for Christmas, made spaghetti squash and steamed broccoli and watched 3 episode of The Office that I needed to catch up on. I'm one episode behind in Heroes, so maybe I'll watch that tomorrow night. We'll see.

I have a friend from Y.O.U. coming into town on December 16 and I'm trying to find him and his band a place to play that evening. I also am going to probably have them stay the night here, unless they have a place to stay already. There are 3 guys and a girl in the band, and I'm sure I can find a place for everyone.

So I should be off to sleep. I feel much better but still need some wink-eye.

happy turkyness

I repainted my toenails. The OPI color is "Met on the Internet". LOL. That cracks me up. My hands smell like potatoes from chopping 10 lbs, and I'm craving the tartness of cranberries; I'm wearing newish jeans, a gray tanktop, a black long sleeve shirt, my cowboy boots and I like my hair today. What else can I say? I slept at my parents house last night, and I actually slept well. I thought it would be weird to not sleep at my place, but it was alright. I suppose I'll be doing that Christmas Eve as well. I brought Maebe which worked really well too (and I didn't worry about her being alone because she was with me!)

Want to know some secrets? I think the muppets are excrusiatingly strange, but they usually make me laugh; Here are some more secrets: I despise the sound of football on tv, but don't mind it on the radio (maybe if I end up with someone who likes football, they'll listen to the radio, and watch the tv on mute?), I think parades are a little bizarre; I'm a sucker for: old movies, tattoos, vampires, geeks, spicy food and lots of other things. I also really love Christmas.

Here's what else I have to do today: make the escalloped corn, put together the green bean casserole, boil the potatoes, and put it all in the oven. I suppose I have to prep the Turkey too, but that doesn't seem that it'll be that difficult.

Justin and Debbie are coming over at 12:30, and hopefully we'll play wii, and cards, and other things until we eat at 3ish. I want to see Twilight ( have this conflict with seeing a movie before I read the book, but I can stop being so ocd about it). So maybe we'll go see a movie; it seems like it's going to be insanely busy - we'll see. I hope to see him at some point regardless of a movie.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to all that are reading. I will be cooking, playing, crafting, napping, watching movies, etc for the rest of the day and I hope the same for you. :)

Thanksgiving for things.

I had a great day!

I slept 11 hours last night, woke up, cleaned up my apartment, made some crafty things that I can't write about on here because they are presents for people that read this. So, as I really really want to post photos of the lovely things I'm making, I cannot, because surprises are the best things ever. I made green bean casserole, and went to work at the Foundation. We had a Thanksgiving Potluck tonight, so we made calls for about 45 minutes, then Vernice showed up, and we had our potluck! Then Mark let us go home early, it was quite nice. We went around the table and said things we were grateful for, and I mentioned that the people I work with are lovely, kind, funny and it's just a great work environment that I wanted to thank them for that. It's exactly the type of work environment for which I was searching, so I am truly happy I have that job.

Tonight my friend Chad is over and we're watching a movie, and drinking ice tea, and Amanda stopped by to drop her keys off (I'm watching her cat Zelda while she's out of town for the weekend).

Tomorrow I work at Starbucks, and then go to my parents to prepare for Thanksgiving.

sleep will be so good.

I got my macbook fixed! It only took an hour - which was awesome; I got a full new keyboard, trackpad and handrest! I went and sat at Starbucks on the Plaza while I waited. I worked all weekend, went to see Seussical (which was really cute!), worked some more, ate Thai on Saturday night and not sure what else; I just remember that my weekend was full and wonderful. I missed my friend Sherman's bday gathering because my car's acting up. I need to go get my heat shield tightened (that's what we figured out).

Here are the things I know: I am totally worn out. I need about 12 hours of sleep and I was thinking, while working tonight at the Foundation, maybe I could come in later than 9 at Starbucks. So I called them to see if we were over-scheduled. And guess what? I don't have to work in the morning. I guess I wrote my schedule down incorrectly. NO WAY. yes way; holy goodness, I'm so excited. I'm going to sleep, clean up my loft, send out an invitation for people to come over for wine and cheese before the next first fridays, pick out paint colors for my walls, make some christmas gifts, take another nap, make some green bean casserole for the Thanksgiving party at the Foundation.

Things have been going really well and I'm happy. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a couple days. I have been working split shifts and not taking my laptop with me. Hopefully I'll have some downtime this Thanksgiving. This is our menu for Thanksgiving:

Turkey
Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Stuffing
Green Bean Casserole
Escalloped Corn
Sweet Potatoes
Watergate Salad
Hawaiian Rolls

I think that's it! I'm super excited about my lovely day off tomorrow, and the rest of the week will be full! I work 9 hours on Black Friday at Starbucks (which will be INSANE - but at least the day will go by quickly). Ciao for now.

marriage, etc.

I'm not sure if I'm normal in this arena or not; I probably am. This has only happened a couple times in my life that I can recall. Someone that I used to be close to got married. It's this odd-oh-shit-we're-growing-up feeling, mixed in with some nostalgia, a little twist of saddness that I am not yet married (but I'm not upset about this in normal moments). There's another element of happiness for that person because, although they don't have a role in your life anymore, it's comforting to think that they have their own world of which to be a part. We all truly are the center of our own world; and I don't mean that in a negative "egoist" sort of way, but it is ego, and ego is there, regardless of judgement.

I read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle this last summer and it was amazing. My comment about the ego reminded me of this book. I will read it again after I'm done with The Time Traveler's Wife, which is a great novel. In Tolle's book, he talks about ego and how it is fed and how it grows; it's part of being human, and he doesn't use that fact to justify the absurd behavior of the ego, but writes about it so as to make the reader aware.

That's really all I wanted to write about, marriage, babies, ego, and longing, growing up, happiness, books, and the list continues. I'm off to take my computer to the apple doctor. :)

my big amazing loft.

I have the most wonderful loft in the entire world; I'm serious. I'll show you sometime, I'll upload photos. I've been pretty lazy about photos (not sure why, probably because I've been lazy about lots of things).

Today went well, I went to the Apple store after trying to make an appointment online, and made an appointment there, for tomorrow morning before work. I have to drop my macbook off, so I'm not sure how long I'll be without my computer, probably a day or two - just fyi.

I went by Wild Oats (Whole Foods) and bought some tofu, and bought more of my favorite tea from Phoenix Herb Company, then I stopped by the sbux at City Center and talked with my friends, and came home, made some more Christmas presents (I hope everyone likes them this year) and rested my eyes for about 10 minutes, and went to work.

I seriously do get to talk with some of the kindest people in the world, and some of the snappiest. The kind people just warm my heart. I love talking with people! I never realized how much I like listening and conversing; I hope that doesn't sound bad, but I really do like it.

So I should be off to bed, long day tomorrow with Apple store, both jobs, etc. In between jobs I will go to my parents and chill for an hour - that will be nice. Until tomorrow!

flowers and other pretty things.

Chad brought flowers last night - which I LOVE; they're beautiful. We also figured out that his parents and my mom went to high school together. Funny.

Today I woke up, stayed in bed for over an hour researching christmas gift ideas. Chad asked me what I wanted for christmas last night, I'm not sure. I emailed my brother a couple weeks ago a copy and paste from my Amazon wish list and this is what it said:

items that are expensive:
wii/wii fit/wii music
apple time capsule
kindle: amazon's wireless reading device
large shag rug for my living room (or a jute rug)
for my posters to be framed

rowenta iron and ironing board

dvd:
arrested development seasons 1-3
futurama seasons 1-4
the office seasons 1-4

books/magazines:
the homeopathy bible: the definitive guide to remedies
readymade magazine subscription
craft: transforming traditional crafts magazine subscription
the new yorker magazine subscription
mary engelbreits home companion magazine subscription
craft: transforming traditional crafts, vol. 1
craft, volume 2: transforming traditional crafts

I'm really into magazines lately. Also, I really want a Wii Fit, but I think I'm going to be saving up for that myself - it's a rather expensive thing, especially because I'd need a Wii first. hah. yutttttttt7u8 (and that was Maebe walking across the keyboard - she does that quite a bit).

I need to go get my macbook fixed, my handrest cracked and I just don't want to have to leave it at the Apple store for 2 weeks. I don't wanna! I love my computer and I rely on it and spend several hours on it daily: looking for jobs, looking for craft projects, designing stuff, coming up with more ways to spend my time like blog, use facebook, check my email repeatedly, etc. Not to mention I should be writing my thesis (lol). Here's the thing. I can write an "exhibition catalog" for my thesis, but what do I want to write about? I need to figure this out and finish this. I want to finish my thesis my February, graduate by May, and do Teach for America next year.

I may take my macbook by the apple store before work and see how long they think it would take to fix. I just read a blog entry that the guy said he had the same problem and they fixed it in an hour. YAY - maybe I'll be so lucky.

I cut some fabric for christmas gifts for a couple hours this morning, and now I'll shower, go to the Apple store, not be so addicted to the internet, buy some tofu, and work at 5! I work both jobs tomorrow (sbux and pkd) and then Friday I work sbux, and am going to Seussical with Chad (I bet it's going to be wonderfully cheerful).

celtic thunder needed more celtic

So. On my way to work, Doran texted me to say that I did get the Sprint Center Celtic Thunder Tickets (someone had emailed last week to ask if anyone wanted any and I emailed and said yes, but since I hadn't heard, I assumed they were already gone). I didn't really know what to do because the tickets were for tonight, and I hadn't asked off from work. I definitely knew my mom would want to go, so I offered them to her and Bob, and Bob didn't end up wanting to go, so I asked Mark if I could take off early to go with my mom. So I did that. I had a date with Chad set up, so I told him to meet me at my place at 10, and it was all set up. Bob drove my mom down to my place, we went to the Sprint Center, he went back to my place to watch tv, and then picked us up at 9:40, and I went home.

Oh! But about Celtic Thunder: they were Great! I mean, they were really talented. The production was quite theatrical and quite amazing. They sang odd songs that weren't very celtic, like puppy love and oldies like that. I suppose the age range of people that like them like those songs; so that's ok. They did sing Knights in White Satin, by Moody Blues - which was great. They did play my mom's favorite celtic song from their PBS special, which was amazing and wonderful and I'm so happy I could take her to see it. Yay!

Chad came over and we drank wine and watched Kung Fu Panda! It was Great! I need to watch it again because we talked a lot during it, but it seems really cute. I had a great time!

Tomorrow: christmas present making, job applying, book ordering, and work.

Dentist

My Dentist is really nice. His name is Dr. Seaman (insert pause for laughter here). He is the father of Brad Seaman, who I sort of grew up with in Y.O.U. Dr. Seaman says my teeth are moving quite nicely and "keep up the good work", he also called me compliant one time, and I thought about it in regards to my personality as well, and I'm not sure I am compliant, it has just negative connotations (to me), although all it means is that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Anyway, braces are cleaned, tightened, with new rubber bands and life is good for another month. I told my hygenist that my goal is to get them off by April - I'd like them off by my 28th birthday. That means I need to stop being a slacker and wear my rubber bands (ow). The problem there is that I take them off in the middle of the night. I guess I'm not such a compliant sleeper.

I went by taco bell on my way home from Olathe, and holy yumminess, I totally love taco bell. Then I cleaned up my apt a little bit more, and now I'm off to take a nap; when I wake up, heroes will be done downloading, and I may watch that, put away my laundry, clean my bathroom and then off to work at 5!

Chad is coming over tonight to watch Kung Fu Panda; I'm excited to see both the movie and Chad. We can even break in my new wine glasses that my mom bought me.

Nikola Tesla is amazing!

I watched a History Channel special on Nikola Tesla, who is amazing, invented Radio, AC current and helped Westinghouse electrically power and light Chicago's World Fair in 1893. He was one cool guy. Edison was a total creep and he electrocuted elephants, and Tesla invented remote controls, and saved injured Pigeons. Tesla was clearly the better man. Also, he wanted to build a wireless power machine to transfer information and even music without wires (he predicted an idea like the internet 100 years before it happened!) That's really all I have to say about that.

Today was a good day! I got up, cleaned up my apartment, did the dishes, showered, took a bunch of silly photos of myself that are at the top of this blog, started a new blog, went to my parents, finished my laundry, went to Kohl's for my mom to get my stepdad a xmas present (no peeking!), went to starbucks to get my tips (yay), was invited to Seussical on Friday with Chad (so excited), and went to work at PKD. I've been doing really well there! I love everyone I work with. And, I've been getting a lot of pledges - I broke the record on number of pledges in one night! I talk with wonderful people every night. Just tonight I talked with a lovely woman who was really helpful and told me all about her family's experience with the disease. I have compassion for people who are suffering; and I hope I'm helping the world in a small way by having the job I have.

And then sometimes you get the grumpy jerks on the phone. I get thrown off by the unkind people, or the the people who hang up on me or yell at me (it just seems bizarre, I'm just trying to help a non-profit raise money so they can fund more clinical trials so that someone can find a cure). So to everyone who is reading this: if you come across a telefunder, all of us prefer people to kindly decline, not hang up. I know all 8 of us at PKD feel that way. I know people view it as an interruption, but it's not like we're calling random people; these are typically people that have PKD and have pledged to the foundation before. So, there; just remember to be nice.

I have been having great text message conversations. I sort of love text messaging. What do I have going tomorrow you ask? I will continue spiffying up my loft, and I have a orthodontic's appointment in the am. My doc said I only have a couple more months. I CAN'T WAIT. I'm so so so so excited. I bet it will feel really weird not to have them; I've heard it's slimy feeling. We'll see.

I should go to sleep! But the Tesla thing is still on and I have to see the end, he was a genius. Night!

a new life, a new blog

Hello! I wanted a completely new blog; it's like getting a new journal, so here I go.

My life is going pretty well. I'm happy, living in downtown Kansas City in the most beautiful loft I've ever seen; I'm looking for jobs, thinking about becoming a teacher; I have good friends, a magnificent and loving cat.

All in all, it's good.

I do need to finish my thesis. I went to a coffee shop last night and it inspired me to do so. I think I'll get my laptop all fixed, order some books from the library, print a bunch of articles and get the thesis party started, or ended, or whatever.

I met up with an old friend from high school last night. Actually I don't think we were friends in high school, but I knew him, and he was in my art classes, and he was always nice to me, etc. His name is Chad; it's so amazing how much I've changed since high school. I know everyone does, but it's just odd to think about. Anyway, I think Chad is a great guy and I'll see him again tomorrow! (yay!)

Hannah's in New York and I miss her quite frequently. She was just in town a couple weekends ago, and she'll be in town for Thanksgiving, so hopefully I'll see her then too. I wish we could live in the same city. I just don't have the impulse to live in NY, it's so expensive and busy and loud. I think I'm more of a Portland sort of person. My cousin Joe and his wife Tara live in Portland and I totally love them, so if I could move there, I would. I would miss my family, but hopefully the tides would be as such, that I could come and visit often.

I've started to embroider! I'm quite excited about it. I bought a bunch of DMC threads and have been organizing in a craft bin and so on.

My jobs: Starbucks and the PKD Foundation are going well; I would much prefer to have 1 full time job, but 2 part time jobs isn't too bad. Starbucks keeps me on my feet and I love making cappuccinos, and I work in the "care center" (which is the call center) for PKD, and I'm really good at talking with people, listening to them, and asking them to donate again. I felt guilty for asking people for money, at first; but then I realized that it's for a great organization to find a cure for a horrible disease; so now I don't feel bad. I love my boss there, and everyone I work with, so even if I did get a full time job, I would try to stay on there as long as I could handle working 60 hours per week.

The weather is cold and I love it. It flurried here the other day. Thanksgiving is coming up and I can't wait to put up Christmas decorations. I hope I have enough to decorate my own place too. I love Christmas.